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A frequent call I get is a distraught female partner calling me to make an appointment for the couple or her spouse/boyfriend because she caught him using porn (which is code for masturbating himself to porn and not using her).
People can very easily lose sight of the things that You’ve chosen a rather prudish country to live in for your enterprise … Teachers write to me all the time and tell me that they use in sex ed classes.
Instead, a healthier way is to examine unchallenged beliefs and opinions about sex, masturbastion, desire, love and porn.
It is surprising how many people BELIEVE (again a belief is not fact) that masturbation and relationship sex are the same thing or interchangeable. The only thing that they share is that they are both types of sex.
It is also reflects the intersection between political, religious and cultural views that struggle to deal with human sexuality and are often afraid of it and want to control and contain it.
Now that most people have access to powerful broadband internet and the accessibility of porn is very easy, many couples will need to examine and evaluate their beliefs about sex, love, masturbation and porn use in their relationship rather than just go along with the unchallenged beliefs they unknowingly adopted.
Surprisingly, and contrary to what many people would think, it's not just porn, porn, porn oh, and porn.